Embarrassing Moments in Riding

Embarrassing Moments in Riding

I have had many embarrassing moments as a motorcycle rider when I hoped and prayed no one was watching. I’ve only been riding for a year and a half or so now and at times I still feel like a bull in a china store on two wheels, with a blindfold on. Here for your entertainment and pleasure, in no particular order is a list of some the stupider things I’ve done. Kids, please don’t try these at home.

I have managed to walk in the house with my helmet still on, looking like an astronaut walking on the moon, a couple of times, not on purpose. Duh!

I’ve leaned over forgetting my helmet was on with the extra clearance needed, and banged it on things, so much for keeping it in pristine condition. Is klutziness inherited or communicable?

I’ve knocked my helmet off the bike onto the cement scuffing it up. Permanent marks don’t you know and I’m still looking for decals to cover them up.

Almost looking like a cheap fake bake, I have gotten sunburned on my face, ears and hands from not wearing sunscreen on a long bike ride. I now carry a bottle in my saddlebag, thank you.

I’ve been caught in the rain and my clear riding glasses smeared with road grime when I tried to wipe them off with my gloves so bad I could not see out them any more. I finished riding home looking over the top of the glasses. I learned my lesson and will no longer attempt to wipe them once it starts to rain; it’s hard to ride by sense of smell and sound.

I rode off from work half cocked once without strapping my half helmet on and had to pull over off the access road, remove my gloves and fasten it on. Boy did I feel like an idiot. Maybe I am?

I’ve driven off haphazardly several times forgetting to put my eye protection on. My windshield does not block everything from hitting my face, that’s for sure.

I found out that new leather boots are not waterproof and need to be sprayed down with something to waterproof them. Then I found out that you have to reapply the water proofer periodically ever few months or the boots will loose their waterproofness.

One time I neglected to buckle my saddlebag just closing the lid and wound up loosing a good pair of clear riding glasses on my way to a bike night. That’s just brilliant, huh?

Not long after getting the bike I almost dropped it the first or second time I pulled out of my driveway on my way to practice riding at a nearby parking lot. I ended up with a black and blue bruised up and soar leg from that one. OK, so Evil Knievel I’m not.

I completely lost one whole saddlebag while riding home once when I was exiting the freeway. I felt like a two inch tall moron in leather pulling over to walk back and get it. At least I can still use the damaged bag, go figure.

I stalled the engine once like a teenager learning how to drive a standard transmission, after coming to a stop to make a left hand turn into my neighborhood. I think I was too distracted by the cager coming up fast on my six.

One really freezing cold day I got stuck in traffic on the freeway while on the way home from work and the motor was not warmed up enough with the enrichment lever (choke) turned off and it stalled while I was in the fast lane when I came to a stop and I had to pull over to the left shoulder to restart the bike, and I call myself a commuter, geesh.

On at least two occasions I have gone to put the kickstand down and my foot lost grip and slipped leaving my leg above my ankle with a nice scrape down it. I must confess that I may not have been wearing the proper riding foot gear at the time which may have contributed to my pain. What does ATGAT stand for again?

Believe it or not, plastic melts on hot engine. I found that out one day when I left the end cover of my battery tender connector loose and it laid a little too close to the rear cylinder head. It also makes a strange burning odor when this happens.

Several times I’ve had to make the biker “Ya, I’m Cool” move putting my left foot up on the floorboard, while checking to make sure the bikes in first gear. Yes, I’m so cool I’m downright cold.

I have accidently taken off from stops in second or third gear, having forgotten to down shift when coming to the stop. That’s a real impressive look taking off lugging the poor little V-Twin down slowly gaining speed like a trolling motor pulling a forty foot yacht. What was I thinking, or, maybe not?

Every now and then I still hit neutral instead of first or second up-shifting or downshifting. Some times I hit it several times in a row for effect. Yes, that was me revving up the engine and not going any where fast.

One cold but blindingly bright day I put down the internal smoke colored visor inside of my full face helmet as I drove off from work. It immediately fogged up so I could not see, and I was in traffic. Feeling like Stevie Wonder on two wheels, I attempted to put it up but could not feel the lever with my winter riding gloves on, so I opened the face shield and popped it back up. Then when the regular shield started fogging I tried to open the shield and could not open it. When I got home I found that I had accidently locked the visor down tight like a chastity belt when I attempted to put the inner visor up. At least I had not permanently broken something.

Once, like a football player in his first ballet class, I was turning into my neighborhood and had not slowed down enough, so I swung way too wide, and headed for the right curb like a bird spotting a new clean car. Target fixation had kicked in but I managed to lean her so far enough over I scraped the left floorboard with a jolt. I still managed to slightly scrape the right curb with the other floorboard and I almost dropped her. I’m sure the people in the neighborhood watching were probably wondering what the heck I was doing. Just think of all the sparks if it would have been darker.

I hope you got some laughs on my behalf, and maybe, just maybe, picked up a tip or two so as not to replicate any of my stupid antics. Please feel free to share some of your own; it’s a lot easier now that I got rid of that other comment program.

Ride on,
Torch

Lost the Old Bag at Highway Speed!

No, not the wife, but I got your attention didn’t I?

This embarrassing story actually started about five months ago. I had stopped for breakfast with a coworker on my commute to work one Saturday morning at the local Waffle House. I had just backed the bike into a parking space, removed my helmet, and started walking towards the Waffle House entrance when I glanced back at my Mistress, that’s what I call my bike, and saw the left Custom Classic Hard Leather Saddle Bag was off its rear bracket stud and was leaning down.

I had removed the bags only one time before to give the bike a good cleaning and commuted without them just that once. I rode it only partly “topless” because I had left the Memphis Shades windshield on. I have as yet never removed both bags and shield to ride her convertible style, top down.

I put it back on after eating breakfast and then rode to work and home afterwards. I looked at it again at home and the locking cam did feel like it was binding or just not closing all the way. So I emptied the bag and removed it and lubricated the mechanism with some WD40 and reinstalled the bag. I thought is felt secure, but was too lazy to take the locking bracket off the bag itself to get a better view.

Now, fast forward to a week ago, commuting back and forth to work every day as usual. I was on my homeward bound commute on a Friday in the usual D/FW rush hour traffic, wearing full leathers, impatiently weaving in and out of bog downs but mostly staying in the “fast lane”. I exited 183 Airport Freeway onto 121 north picking up velocity to normal highway cruising speed. I took my normal exit, Cheek-Sparger Rd. as usual and down shifted one time to start engine braking.

That’s when it happened. I rode over a small seam crack in the road and I heard a clunk from the left rear of my bike. I glanced back just in time to catch out of the corner of my eye the saddlebag hitting the ground and take off tumbling down the side of the road. Checking my mirror I see it go cart wheeling off the left shoulder of the exit lane and into the median grass on the side of the freeway. I merged with the access road and exited in the first parking lot.

As I park the bike I see a white pickup pulling over onto the shoulder with its hazard flashers turned on. I get off the bike and remove my helmet and start walking back up the access road. I see the driver get out of the truck and go get the saddlebag. He put it in his truck and started back down the access road in my direction. He sees me walking back up the access road and signals me he will pull into the parking lot where my bike is parked.

The Good Samaritan pulled in behind my bike and gave me back the prodigal saddlebag. I thanked him and asked if I could pay him for his extra effort. He declined and offered some bungee chords but I had a bungee net in the saddlebag. I strapped the bag to my pillion seat and thanked him again as he left.

That Saturday I took it completely apart removing the bracket from the bag. The bag itself was not damaged too badly. The hard plastic backing plate was cracked on one corner, it was scrapped and scuffed up and some of the stitching had come loose on the lid. Considering what it had been through it came out well. I managed to get the bracket lock to unbind so that it would fully lock the bracket in place. I remounted the bag on the bike and made sure it was secured properly. Then I reinstalled the contents I usually carry back inside.

This was a good luck bad luck story. It was bad luck that the Saddlebag came completely off the bike while riding, and it is not easy to get off the bike when you are purposely trying to remove it. Good luck that it did not happen while I was in the middle of traffic or the fast lane of the freeway. I believe my Guardian Angel was looking out for me again and I shudder to think of what could have happened…..

Ride on,
Torch

Cold Riding Hands are Sluggish Riding Hands

River Road Cheyenne Cold Weather Gloves Review

This December my fingers were really getting cold during my morning commutes to work. I had been wearing a pair of inexpensive leather gloves purchased at Wal-Mart that had a thin Thinsulate liner. They worked great for driving a cage and if you were out of the wind. On a cold winter’s day though, at any speed over 40 mph, the cold wind sliced right through the seams. These gloves were not designed for motorcycling. I needed a pair of cold weather gloves.

I was off for the Christmas and New Years holidays and taking some vacation time from work and decided to take my V-Star in to get the front tire replaced. So, I was browsing my local Bikers Bay store while they were mounting a new front tire on my Mistress early on a Saturday morning. I looked at the gloves rack and found the River Road Cheyenne Cold Weather Gloves. The pricing was fair so I tried a pair on. They fit well despite my large hands although they sure felt bulky as all cold weather riding gloves will. I bought them and a neoprene face mask when my bikes front tire installation was complete.

The Cheyenne Cold Weather Gloves by River Road got their first trial as soon as my vacation and holiday time was up and it was time to get back to work. These gloves had a reinforced leather palm with good grip traction. The back side of the glove is made of a durable looking textile material. They have a breathable windproof Hipora liner they claimed was waterproof. These gloves are also equipped with a Thinsulate layer for warmth as well. They have two hook and loop adjustable fasteners one for the wrists and another for the cuffs. This makes them very adaptable. On top of that, they have reflective piping in several places on the seams for safety.

I have now ridden with them through our short Texas winter. These gloves kept my hands and wrist warm down to about 35 degrees Fahrenheit at 60+ mph. If it gets colder than that your fingers will still start to get cold. I would recommend a thermal glove liner to go with them when riding in temperatures freezing or below. I will invest in a pair of these for next winter. The gloves do an excellent job of blocking the wind. Finally, I also had the chance to wear them in the rain. I had my doubts, but the Cheyenne Cold Weather Gloves are indeed water proof. These River Road Gloves in conjunction with my frogg toggs kept me completely dry. The fact that I had dry and warm hands really impressed me.

The bulkiness of the gloves does have its cons, but the pros far outweigh them. If you have ever been caught in the cold without gloves, or just too lazy to pull over and put them on, and had to ride, you know what I mean. It takes a little adjusting to, to ride and use your motorcycles controls with the gloves on. The hardest thing to get used to for me was the starter button. However, I found that if I just kept moving my thumb around it would eventually make contact. They have held up good for the first winter riding season, although some may debate that Texas really does not have a winter season. Torch gives the River Road Cheyenne Cold Weather Gloves a M.M.M Rating of 9 on a scale of 1-10.

Ride on,
Torch